By Melissa Phebus
“But Mom! If I keep looking out for my brothers, who will look out for me?” This is a question I continue to hear from my boys as we practice self-sacrificing love towards each other. Service to others is a beautiful idea; yet the more personal it becomes, the more mundane and difficult the task. On the other hand, the more personal it becomes, the more effective and powerful it is for transformation.
God had a good idea when he asked us to serve one another.
Serving leads us towards spiritual, mental and physical health, and ultimately success for the Christian life. In a culture all about raising above and cheering on the underdog (until they’re the top dog), it’s backwards to think serving others might be God’s definition of success.
Matthew 20:26-28 says, “Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Service both requires and grows humility. I am not talking about a disparaging view of self, but rather a security in Christ that allows one to act for the good of others and the sake of Christ, without evaluating what this action will do to their image or reputation. Humility allows us to focus on what God has for us to do and who he has for us to serve.
In the mental health field, serving others has been a guidepost for overcoming depression[1] and, even more recently, has been seen as a pillar of help to those suffering from chronic physical pain.[2] Serving others also combats the growing epidemic in our technologically advanced age of isolation and loneliness.[3] It is just like our God to ask us to participate in something that will produce good for us, for others, and for His glory.
[1] Ballard, P. J., Daniel, S. S., Anderson, G., Nicolotti, L., Caballero Quinones, E., Lee, M., & Koehler, A. N. (2021). Incorporating Volunteering Into Treatment for Depression Among Adolescents: Developmental and Clinical Considerations. Frontiers in psychology, 12, 642910. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.642910
[2] Hassett, A. L. (2023). Chronic Pain Reset: 30 Days of Activities, Practices, and Skills to Help You Thrive. Countryman Press.
[3]Millora, C. (2023, December). Youth Volunteering and Well‑being: Exploring the Benefits of Engaging in Civic Action (Challenge Paper). International Association for Volunteer Effort. https://www.iave.org/iavewp/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Challenge-Paper-Wellbeing.pdf
Bio
Melissa has been working as a licensed counselor since 2012, focusing her time on young adults and adolescents. She has been blissfully married for 15 years and is a mom of 4 boys, currently between the ages of 5 and 10. She is transitioning to private practice at Olivia Joy Counseling, where she can work directly to support the Church and help others enjoy the life God has crafted for them.
